Marine Corps Community, Marine Corps Spouse and Family Resources - Marine Corps Times

Married to the Military

Service members swear an oath to uphold the Constitution and protect our country, while their spouses take an unwritten oath to a life that is best described as a roller coaster ride.

More than likely, military spouses (and service members) will encounter more challenges in their short time with the military than other people will ever experience in a lifetime. The good news is that, as a military spouse, you are not expected to ride this roller coaster alone. A year ago, we wrote a column that highlighted our “10 Top Books for Military Spouses.” Those 10 are still valuable books for every military life library. (You’ll find the list online at http://www.militarytimes.com/community/married_to_mil).

Many of those books have been revised and updated with new information and resources as our military world continues to change. And new books arrive daily. Every military spouse author we have spoken with has this core reason for writing their books: They don’t want others to have to reinvent the wheel and learn the hard way when other spouses have ideas and resources to share.

In these books, spouses share their heartfelt stories and best lessons on how to make the most of this lifestyle and enjoy the roller coaster ride — even if you do so with your arms thrown up in the air and screaming with fear and excitement the entire way.

There are too many books to list here — check for a longer list at our Web site, http://www.militaryspousehelp.com. Here’s a partial list:

• “Household Baggage: The Moving Life of a Soldier’s Wife,” by Army spouse Marna A. Krajeski.

• “I’m Already Home ... Again: Keeping Your Family Close While You’re on Assignment or Deployment,” by Elaine Gray Dumler.

•“Life After Deployment: Military Families Share Reunion Stories and Advice,” by Marine spouse Karen M. Pavlicin.

•“That Military House: Move It, Organize It & Decorate It,” by Army spouse Sandee Payne.

•“Separated by Duty, United in Love: A Guide to Long-distance Relationships for Military Couples,” by Army spouse Shellie Vandevoorde.

•“The Treasure of Staying Connected for Military Couples,” by Navy spouse Janel Lange.

How-to books aren’t the only ones that can help us with this military life. It’s also fun to read novels about other people like us, living lives similar to ours.

We just finished Air Force spouse Sara Rosett’s “Staying Home is a Killer.” Watch for her upcoming “Moving is Murder,” as well. When we read “The Ocean Between Us,” by Susan Wiggs, we both said, “She has to be a military spouse — she has captured how we feel.” Well, we called and asked. It turns out she isn’t, but she lives near a military community and interviewed many spouses.

Here are others we’ve heard about that we’ve added to our “to read” list:

•“The Art of Uncontrolled Flight,” a novel by Kim Ponders, an Air Force spouse and Air Force reservist.

•“Military Wives 101,” by Tynisa Gaines.

•“Navy Brides,” by Debbie Macomber.

•“Tell It to the Marines” and other books by Marine spouse Amy J. Fetzer.

•“The Officer’s Wife,” by Michael Fleeman.

•“The Soldier’s Wife,” by Rachel Moore.

There are many books geared toward military children, too, including:

•“I’m a Hero Too,” by Jenny Sokol.

•“Uncle Sam’s Kids: Moving Again Mom” and “Uncle Sam’s Kids: When Duty Calls,” both by Angela Sportelli-Rehak.

•“Marine Corps Spouse” and “When Dad’s at Sea,” by Navy spouse Mindy Pelton.

We’d love to tell you that you can find all these books at your local military exchange. That isn’t the case, but that’s likely to happen in the future, so stay tuned. In the meantime, you can get many of these books at the Military Times online bookstore (http://www.mil-mall.com) and other online retailers.

Have you read a good military life book lately? Write and tell us about it so we can add it to our resource list and share the information with other military spouses.

Kathie Hightower and Holly Scherer are military spouses who have written articles and presented workshops based on their research and experience for more than 10 years. They are the authors of “Help! I’m a Military Spouse — I Get a Life Too!” now in its second edition. Send your questions and suggestions to marriedtomilitary@atpco.com.