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Advice for being a good date at birthday ball

Few dates are as loaded with expectation and anticipation as the Marine Corps birthday ball — except maybe prom.

Just like the prom, there are many ways to do the birthday ball right, and just as many things that can go wrong.

But you’re older, wiser and worldlier than you were in high school, and knowing that devil dogs can learn new tricks, Marine Corps Times wants to share a secret it’s learned by polling active-duty Marines, their spouses and even ex-dates.

The secret of the perfect date: If you want to have the perfect Marine Corps birthday ball date, you have to treat it like a date.

Can it be that simple? Isn’t that a no-brainer, you say? You’d be surprised.

“Be attentive; your date has gotten all dolled up and wants to party,” wrote the wife of a retired senior Marine in an e-mail.

“Ask your date to dance even if you aren’t comfortable; again, your date has gotten dolled up and wants to party. Don’t use the birthday ball to network too much, if at all; your date has gotten all dolled up and wants to party (there’s a theme here!)” she writes.

“Bottom line is, if you ask a date, you have to treat it like a date,” agreed a retired Marine officer.

Too many Marines show up to “their” party and promptly ditch their dates for their buddies — a sure-fire way to ruin an evening, say those polled.

While it’s your birthday and you should have fun, that fun actually can be enhanced by having — and being — a good date.

Include the following pointers in your Marine Corps birthday ball protocols, and you’re likely to have an evening to remember. Just make sure you keep repeating, “If you asked a date, then it’s a date.”

Before the big day:

*If it’s a new relationship or first date, consider getting together with your buddies and their dates before the ball, ensuring that your new friend will already know people when she walks into the ballroom.

*Ask her (or him) about any expectations he or she has for the day of the ball. Will you be traveling? Does she need time to have her hair or nails done? Does he need help picking up a tuxedo? Find out if there’s anything you can do to assist.

*Ask your date if she’d like a corsage. They may be old-fashioned, but some women really like them. Or bring her a small bouquet of flowers when you pick her up. You can drop them in a vase as you’re heading out the door.

On the big day:

*If you are traveling, leave plenty of time to get to your destination. Las Vegas is at least three hours from Twentynine Palms, Calif., even if those two-lane roads seem tailor-made for driving 90 mph. Likewise, Stafford, Va., is at least 50 minutes from the Washington Hilton, and when there’s traffic, it could take up to two hours. Don’t start the evening off with a speeding ticket or road rage.

*Before leaving your house or barracks, double-check all uniform items. Sometimes, things simply get lost — the dry cleaner misplaced the belt of your dress blues, the collar insignia was “supposed to be in the box with the medals” but wasn’t.

If you arrive at your destination and are missing part of your uniform, ask around, especially if your ball is being held off-site at a hotel. Marines often carry their full jewelry cases with them to these events and have extra accouterments on hand. Believe it or not, this happens a lot.

*A sub-note for dates regarding uniforms. Let your Marine be responsible for his or her uniform, so “you are not the one who puts the eagle, globe and anchors on their collars backward,” writes Barbara Greenbush, a long-time spouse whose husband is assigned to Camp Pendleton.

*Give yourself and your date plenty of time to get ready. This will put you in a relaxed mood and you’ll be ready to party. “Planning is key, allowing time to get pampered such as nails or hair whatever you think necessary. It’s OK to treat yourself like a princess this one special time,” Greenbush says.

At the ball:

*It goes without saying, but introduce your date to everyone you talk to. There are a few rules regarding who should be introduced to whom, but in general, a man is presented to a woman (unless you are talking with the president of a country, a king or a church dignitary); a younger adult is introduced to an older adult of the same gender; and an officer of lower rank is introduced to one of higher.

Using these rules, which can be found in Service Etiquette and the Roses and Thorns, one might introduce his date by saying, “Jenna Jameson, I’d like to introduce Major General Helland” (don’t laugh, it almost happened) or “Mrs. Helland, this is Jenna Jameson.”

To introduce your staff NCO to the general, it would go like this: “Major General. Helland, may I present Staff Sergeant Terrence Brown.”

Don’t get so scared of flubbing introductions that you don’t do it. The most important thing to remember is to say each person’s name aloud. If you don’t remember a name, simply apologize and ask. “I’m sorry, I recall we met at the gym the other day. I’m Sergeant Benotz,” will prompt a response.

*Tell her she’s beautiful or him that he’s handsome. Not just once but many times. Your date has taken a lot of time to prepare for this. A few words from you can go a long way in making your date feel special. Be attentive. Again, it’s a date.

*Splurge for an official photo; the basic package is usually perfect for two. To avoid long lines, consider going during dinner, after the meal is complete and while coffee is being served. Or look for the off-the-beaten path photography station. There usually is one.

After the ceremony and dinner:

*Dance, at least once. Not a good dancer? Doesn’t matter. As one Marine spouse says, “Marines look great in uniform swaying back and forth.”

*Do you prefer to bolt from the room and head for the after-party? Again, even though you are out of the binding uniform, you’re still on a date. Continue to make sure he or she is having a good time.

A few bits of miscellaneous advice, and probably the best advice we’ve seen:

*Hotels carry sewing kits and toiletries. If she pops a spaghetti strap because you flipped her on the dance floor, be a knight in shining armor: Go ask the front desk for a sewing kit and stitch her up. If his new shoes have given him a blister, go ask for a Band-Aid.

*Don’t worry about the kids. You deserve a date.

*And finally, when it comes to sex and the birthday (and we’re not passing judgment either way), do it BEFORE the ball.

Why? Well, first, your date will think it’s awesome, and second, as one happily married, seasoned spouse so eloquently wrote: “Because chances are [after the ball] that 1) your date will be drunk (2) your date will smell like nasty cigar smoke or (3) you will have gotten into a fight about one of the above and won’t be speaking.”

Now, that’s some sound advice.

Happy birthday!