In 2020, Christina Phaneuf and her family got one of the worst calls that a military family can receive. Her brother, Air Force Capt. Ryan Phaneuf, had died in a crash. Her family was invited to Dover Air Force Base, Delaware, to meet Ryan’s remains as he returned to U.S. soil.
“My brother was serving out in Afghanistan,” Christina said, “and we found out that his plane went down, and he and the other pilot didn’t survive. So, we were then told to go to the airport.”
Ryan was the co-pilot in an E-11A aircraft when it suffered an engine failure and crash.
During this difficult time, families have a very special place to stay that was built just for this mission, the Dover Fisher House for Families of the Fallen. The Phaneuf family went there at the same time as the family of the other pilot, Lt. Col. Paul Voss.
“Our mission here and at [Air Force Mortuary Affairs Operations] is to honor and respect the fallen and to provide care, service, and support to the loved ones who come to witness them coming home to American soil,” former Dover Fisher House Manager Stasia T. Smith, an Air Force master sergeant, said in a 2020 interview.
The Dover Fisher House is specially set up to provide comfort, with two gardens and a meditation pavilion in addition to the kitchen, dining room, and other areas common to all Fisher Houses. The Dover Fisher House also has more staff support from the Air Force, including a chaplain that provides spiritual support to guests and a chef that cooks some of the families’ meals.
While the families needed the privacy and support provided by the house and staff, they also appreciated being able to meet each other.
“I lost my brother, but my parents lost their kid,” Christina said. “So, Paul’s parents lost their kid. So that’s when we would go out. And we kind of, you talked to people going through the same pain, right? The other family, they’re going through the same exact loss that we were.”
“I don’t think, if we never went to Fisher House, we would even know who [the Voss Family] is,” Christina said. “But for our circumstance where, you know, it was just my brother and this other pilot, you have people that are going through the exact same thing. And oddly enough, that makes them best friends. I mean, we all talk to them. I have them on Facebook. I know one of his daughters graduated college.”
The family members are the guests of honor at the dignified transfer ceremony where the remains of the fallen arrive back in the United States. Senior government and military leaders attend and offer their condolences during the ceremony. The Phaneufs had decided to dress up for the ceremony, but Christina’s dad discovered that he had forgotten to pack a belt.
When he asked the house staff if they happened to have any belts, they apologized and offered to run to a store for him. Christina’s father told them no. Later, he answered a knock at the door to find an airman holding five belts.
“Sir, I didn’t know what size you wear.”
The airmen offered to let him keep all of the belts, but the father, laughing, told them to please hold the rest of the belts for later guests who might need them.
Christina now rides Ryan’s motorcycle in his memory, including at motorcycle rides in his honor. She wears a bracelet memorializing him, even at her 2025 wedding.
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