“Staying in my rack watching ‘One Tree Hill,’ so I’m never gonna get a confirmed kill. Reporting contact even if we don’t get it, just so we can get our Combat Action Ribbon.”
Details of the sometimes-monotonous realities of a junior enlisted Marine’s life in Iraq were jam-packed into every lyric of the “EAS Song,” a 2007 tune by then-Lance Cpl. Tyler Jay Satterfield that became an instant Internet sensation among young devils everywhere who longed for their seemingly mythical lives “back on the block.”
It’s a ... f---ked up arrangement.
Marines were quick to identify with the disgruntled lance coolie’s humorous depiction of the less-than-glamorous times deployments can yield.
And there are often many.
The inexplicably difficult late night comm checks, wasting away at vehicle check points, problems with overbearing, power-hungry staff NCOs, battling boredom with an overheating mid-2000s laptop scorching the chest’s epidermis while laying on a cot and trudging through hours of “The Office.”
No matter the tedium, Satterfield’s “EAS Song” proved the notion, once again, that no one more expertly satirizes a Marine’s misery than a miserable Marine.
If you were never fortunate enough to have the original rendition grace your eardrums, you can listen to it here. These many years later, the now-homeboy back on the block has brought it back for your viewing pleasure, colorful language and all. (There’s your warning.)
He’s still got it.
EAS, baby, you can't stop time. Uncle Sam’s got his, so I’m gonna get mine.