A recently married bride was not about to put up with the attention diversion created by one peacocking Marine who decided to partake in the matrimonial festivities donned in his dress blues.
So, she did what she thought was best — kicked him out of the wedding and sent him packing all the way back to the shores of Tripoli.
That’s the confession she shared on the popular subreddit, “Am I the A--hole?”
“The son of one of my husband’s family friends showed up to my wedding in his marines [sic] formal wear, complete with all his medals,” she wrote in the post.
“Now, I have nothing against anyone in the military but this was a black tie optional wedding and frankly it felt very out of place and it seemed like he was just trying to show off. My wedding had over 300 guests and nobody else felt the need to wear something to make them stand out.”
And stand out the Marine did — back straight, heels together and toes pointed at a 45-degree angle — as requests from “excited teenage girls” to pose for photos began piling up, “to which he graciously agreed,” the bride said.
Before long, the 300-guest ensemble was collectively transfixed by polished corfams, shiny eagles, globes and anchors, and medals that reflected lights from a disco ball while “Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats blared from the sound system.
It was a level of adoration comparable only to... someone who had just gotten married.
Emanating a “thank you for your service” radius of nearly 50 meters, the Marine — and what the bride perceived to be a “Semper I" aura — finally proved to be too much “mota, mota, gotta lotta” motivation to handle.
“Frankly it just felt like the only reason he wore that was to be in the spotlight and make it about him, which I don’t think you are supposed to do at someone else’s wedding,” she wrote.
“If he wants to wear that to his own wedding then fine, but the whole point of having a dress code at a wedding is so that no one guest will stand out too much.”
To the devastation of Marines young and old, it appears everyone is not so eager to learn of the legendary exploits of Chesty Puller, or about the innumerable lives extinguished by the lethal right knife hand of Jim Mattis, the patron saint of chaos, or how “yut,” “kill” and “err” are all-encompassing terms used to express approval of anything from good training to a well-crafted burrito.
“He should have known this,” the bride added, “since the whole point of uniforms in the military is so that you don’t stand out from everyone else!”
The newlywed wrapped up her summary by saying that despite the apparent attention-hogging exploits of the friendly neighborhood leatherneck, she felt bad for booting him from the ceremony.
“AITA?” she posed, asking the question for which the subreddit is named.
One veteran provided a diplomatic response that garnered the support of the Reddit masses.
“You have to be a special kind of a--hole to wear it to a non-military wedding without specific permission of the couple,” the user wrote. “This is the same as wearing white to a wedding — this puts you in competition with the bride.
“He was rude. No question, but kicking him out of the wedding was a bit much. ... With 300 guests, one person in uniform isn’t going to kill your day.”
Did the bride make the right call?
Either way, at least he didn’t wear silkies, err?
J.D. Simkins is a writer and editor for Military Times, and a USMC veteran.